Effective Couples and Marital Counseling

If you are contemplating couples counseling or marriage counseling or have tried it and found it to be ineffective, the Self-Awareness Weekend will make a difference.

Saving and repairing your relationship and/or getting clear whether or not to stay in that relationship can definitely happen at the Self-Awareness Weekend.

Many times couples or marital counseling is ineffective because it focuses ONLY on the relationship and NOT on the individuals in the relationship.  A successful relationship requires two healthy, whole individuals. Before any relationship issues can be resolved, individual issues must be addressed.

First, each individual releases the emotional baggage of hurts, anger, grudges, disappointments, resentments, unfulfilled expectations, thwarted intentions and breakdown in communication that have happened between the two people as well as from their childhood.  I call this the “dirty dishes” of the relationship. SAW provides the “hot, sudsy water” to clean the dishes. Second, I have seen it go either way. I have seen couples fall in love with each other in a more profound way than when they first met. I have seen other couples realize they were in the relationship for the wrong reasons and that it didn’t work for them. They were able to dissolve the relationship in a healthy, responsible, conscious way and then, if necessary, go through the grieving process of the loss with support of a counselor/family member/friend. Either way, it turns out to be a WIN-WIN for both people.  Most of the time relationships are repaired and saved at SAW.

Each individual attends SAW to receive individual counseling in order to get rid of the emotional baggage I mentioned above; to clear their own self-defeating issues and learn how those issues get in the way of the relationship NOT working. Often, a person blames their partner when they feel angry or empty or lost or unhappy. The real truth is that pain is internal and it is vital that the person feel the pain in order to remove it. Each person gets to work out their own issues from childhood to present time and take responsibility for their part in the relationship NOT working. Like one person said who found us on the Internet: “Wow, your program sounds exactly like what my husband and I need as individuals.”

The intention of SAW is for each individual to focus on themselves, achieve the “12 Results” of SAW and clear away issues from the past that get in the way of their relationship working. Given that, the couple comes away with a strong foundation to build a healthy, intimate, equal, growth-producing relationship.

SAW is designed to work through and remove the root cause of the problems vs. just working with the symptoms. It is about getting out of the blame game, taking attention off the other person and looking at one self. “What do I need or want to change about me to have this or any relationship I am in to work?”

Thus, at SAW, the two individuals work on their own personal issues. Each individual in the relationship may choose to attend together or attend by themselves. The results will happen for the relationship and for each individual  either way.

The advantage of attending together is that you can support and share in your partner’s healing transformation.  As you witness your partner’s breakthroughs, you develop a new understanding and compassion for each other.  Each individual really gets to know the other as they watch them go through their process of change and healing.

If there is an time either or both individuals may want to say something in private, this is honored and the other individual is requested to leave the room with an assistant for that period of time.

The advantage of attending alone is that you can express all your thoughts and feelings and clear all your self-defeating behaviors without in any way feeling stopped or slowed down by having your partner present.

While each of you could attend a different SAW, we recommend attending the same one.  Your shared personal healing experience creates intimacy, builds a new bridge between you, and provides a solid foundation for rebuilding and improving your relationship.

The benefits of releasing emotional baggage, pent-up feelings and pain and getting to the source of each partner’s self-defeating patterns and changing them can lead to a healthier relationship as there is now two emotionally healthier people coming together to build that healthier relationship.

(Occasionally, one of the partners is NOT willing to attend. This can work anyway. Growth can still happen for the relationship even when only one partner is willing to attend.)

Couples report saved, improved, and more fulfilling relationships as a result of SAW.

Expert Guidance & Facilitation

Don’t miss the opportunity to venture into the most life-altering, self-empowering weekend ever offered, led by these magnificent teachers:

Andrea Lambert, LMFT Founder and Leader of the Self-Awareness Weekend Licensed Individual, Marriage and Family Therapist Hypnotherapist & EMDR Practitioner Andrea is also available in her Sacramento, CA office or by telephone to provide private short-term counseling for Individuals, Couples, Teens, Children and Families. Read more...

Shannon Lee, CCHT Co-Leader of the Self-Awareness Weekend Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist Certified Coach and Holistic Practitioner Read more...

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